Spider-Man: No Way Home Spoiler Review

What are you doing? Get off the internet! Right now! No seriously. If you have not watched Spider-Man: No Way Home yet and do not want to get spoiled, you need to get off the internet. Right now. In fact, don’t even read this review. It is impossible to discuss this movie without going into spoilers. So for your own safety, get off the internet right now. If you have not seen the movie yet and read any further, and end up having it spoiled to you, and you get mad at me, well…. I missed the part where that’s my problem.

Are they gone yet? So everyone here has seen Spider-Man: No Way Home, right? You have? Ok, good.

What can be said about Spider-Man that hasn’t already been said yet. Of all the superheroes, he is my favorite. In a way, he’s always been my favorite. In my teenage years, I was more of a Batman fan. Mostly because of the Christopher Nolan Batman movies. But lately, Spider-Man has gone back to being my favorite. Because these last few years have taught me that a teenager getting spider powers from a radioactive spider is actually more realistic than a billionaire who wants to use his money and resources to save the world…..

Anyways. The reason Spider-Man is my favorite is because even though he has the ability to shoot webs and crawl over walls, he’s the most relatable superhero by far. Especially for me. Being a nerd myself, I see so much of myself in Peter Parker. And I’m not the only one.

Spider-Man made his debut in Marvel’z Amazing Fantasy Comics Issue #15 in August 1962. Created by Steve Ditko and Stan Lee. Before Spider-Man, the most iconic superhero in comics was Superman. Superman was a superhero that we all wished we could be. What we strive to be. But Spider-Man was just a kid. He wasn’t nearly invincible like Superman, he wasn’t a billionaire like Batman. He was just a nerdy kid from Queens, New York named Peter Parker. He was the first superhero kids could actually imagine themselves being who was not a sidekick like Robin. And Spider-Man wore a mask that completely covered his face. So that any kid, no matter their race or skin color, could imagine themselves being the masked web slinger, which gave him universal appeal. Spider-Man went on to become the Mickey Mouse of Marvel Comics.

Speaking of Mickey Mouse, Disney thought about buying Marvel as far back as the 90s. A terrible decade for Marvel Comics. Their comics were not selling as well. And while DC had their two most iconic heroes Batman and Superman on the big screen, Marvel could barely make a Fantastic Four movie. At that point, their most significant contribution to cinema was Howard the Duck. It was so bad for Marvel that they had to sell the movies rights to their most popular characters to other studios. They sold the movie rights to X-Men and Fantastic Four to 20th Century Fox, and they sold the rights to Spider-Man to Sony Pictures. 

Sony immediately went to work on making the first big screen adaptation of Marvel’s most iconic character. At one point James Cameron, who was hot off of directing a small independent film called Titanic, was supposed to direct it. But eventually, they went with Sam Raimi, a horror movie director famous for Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2. Tobey McGuire, known for films like Pleasantville, was chosen to play Spider-Man/Peter Parker on the big screen. Spider-Man was released on May 3rd, 2002. 

I was seven years old at the time. As a kid it was really hard for me to go to the movies because I was so sensitive to loud noises and dark places, especially action movies. I did not see Spider-Man in theaters. But I remember how huge it was. All my friends were talking about it. I had tried watching it for years, but was so afraid of how violent it might be. Same reason I did not see Spider-Man 2 or Spider-Man 3 in theaters. But I remember watching the trailers, and looking at the posters, and having my imagination run wild. I basically wrote the movies in my head. I finally watched the first Spider-Man on TV when I was 10 years oldish. It blew my mind. I identified so much with Peter Parker. Uncle Ben reminded me so much of my Grandpas, and Aunt May reminded me of my Grandmas. I cried when Uncle Ben died. I cheered whenever Spider-Man saved someone. It inspired me to be a hero myself. It taught me the importance of doing what is right. And that with great power comes great responsibility. As Uncle Ben told Peter Parker. Spider-Man 2 was even better. Having better action and delving deeper into Peter Parker’s existential crisis of trying to live a normal life while also being a hero to the city of New York, as well as trying to tell Mary Jane his true feelings for her. I’ve been doing this acting class for a couple years on Zoom. My teacher has us choose our own scenes from movies and plays. He usually doesn’t like it whenever I do a scene from a comic book movie, because he wants me to do scenes about real life. Recently, I did a monologue from Spider-Man 2, where Peter Parker tells Aunt May the truth about Uncle Ben’s death. When I did the monologue, my teacher could not even tell it was a comic book movie. The dialogue felt so real and genuine. It shows that Spider-Man 2 wasn’t just a great superhero movie. It’s a great movie, period. Even Martin Scorsese agrees. And even though I’ll admit Spider-Man 3 has its issues, it still holds a special place in my heart as an emotional ending to the Sam Raimi Spider-Man trilogy. (And plus, Emo Peter rules. There, I said it!) Andrew Garfield was, well, amazing as Peter Parker/Spider-Man, and I loved his chemistry with Emma Stone’s Gwen Stacy. But despite their titles, the “Amazing” Spider-Man movies were anything but “amazing”, at least for me. If you loved them, I’m happy for you. But for me, nothing beats the classics. 

In 2016, Spider-Man finally joined the Marvel Cinematic Universe in Captain America: Civil War, where he was played by Tom Holland. Even though McGuire will always be my Spider-Man, Tom Holland is arguably the closest to the comics, since he’s the first Spider-Man who actually looked like a teenager. Tom Holland starred in two solo Spider-Man movies, Spider-Man; Homecoming (2017) and Spider-Man Far From Home. Both films were directed by Jon Watts. Both had this lighthearted tone that we came to expect from the MCU. They felt sort of like John Hughes high school movies from the 80s but for a modern era. Which makes sense considering Peter Parker is in High School.

Spider-Man: Far From Home ended on a cliffhanger. Mysterio, played by Jake Gyllenhall, revealed to the world that Spider-Man was in fact Peter Parker. 

After two years of a pandemic, we finally get the continuation. And I am happy to report that Spider-Man: No Way Home is an absolute home run! I can’t decide if this is my new favorite Spider-Man movie, or if Into the Spider-Verse still is. But it’s definitely the best live action Spider-Man. Even though it has even more villains than Spider-Man 3, it still manages to give all of them satisfying arcs, and perfectly balances them all. In fact, this is sort of like Spider-Man 3, but much more polished and focused.

Doc Ock, played by Alfred Molina, gets another redemption arc. Except this time he does not have to die. Peter Parker manages to fix his robot tentacles by using Stark technology to fix them so that they do not control him. Peter tries to fix all of the other villains. Norman Osborn, played once again by the irreplaceable Willam DaFoe, refuses to be fixed, as he sees his powers as a gift, not a curse, and wants to take over the world.

Spider-Man: No Way Home picks up right where Far From Home left off. Now the whole world knows Peter Parker is Spider-Man. Now, we’ve all seen the trailers and know Peter asks Doctor Strange to cast a spell to make everyone forget Peter Parker is Spider-Man. Which results in the fabric of reality to be torn, causing villains from other realities to come to the MCU. 

And if you’ve seen the movie, which if you are still reading this chances are you already have, you know that Tobey McGuire and Andrew Garfield show up. Honestly, it wasn’t shocking to me. Ever since Doc Ock showed up in the trailer, I just knew McGuire would show up. And in the 2nd trailer, when I saw Electro and Lizzard, I knew Garfield would show up. Plus, the internet had already been going crazy with theories and rumors. Though it still honestly feels like a miracle that they showed up! Like, a few years ago it seemed unfathomable that Tom Holland’s Spider-Man would interact with either Tobey McGuire’s Spider-Man, or Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man. But BOTH? That seemed impossible. But I guess fans of both McGuire and Garfield were too loud for Sony and Marvel to ignore. 

My biggest worry was HOW they would show up. Would they have a significant role in the movie? Would they be a brief cameo? Or would they just cameo as other characters, like McGuire cameos as a Pizza delivery guy? 

Thankfully, not only do Tobey McGuire and Andrew Garfield have significance in the plot, but they each are given closure to each of their arcs and universes. And their reactions with each other are absolutely hilarious. Some scenes felt like they were made specifically to respond to all the memes online. This is honestly the funniest Spider-Man movie.

But it’s also the most heartbreaking. While the banter between the characters and visual gags are hilarious, the film also manages to have great dramatic scenes. This is the most emotional comic book movie since Avengers: Endgame.

Near the end of the movie Aunt May, played by Marissa Tomei, is killed by the Green Goblin’s bomb. Before she dies, she tells Peter that “with great power, comes great responsibility”. The same words Uncle Ben told Peter Parker. Holland’s Peter Parker is devastated. Aunt May, the woman who raised him, who taught him everything he believed in, is gone. And Holland’s Peter Parker wants revenge. He wants to kill the Green Goblin. Just like how McGuire wanted to kill the men who killed Uncle Ben. When Holland interacts with McGuire and Garfield’s Spider-Man’s, they each tell him of their losses. McGuire talks about losing Uncle Ben, and Garfield talks about losing Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone). They warn Peter of the dangers of letting the desire for revenge cloud his mind. Not only does this help McGuire and Garfield’s Peter Parker’s fulfill their purpose of guiding Holland’s Peter Parker. This also give Holland’s Peter Parker growth. Prior to this movie, people complained that Tom Holland’s Spider-Man movies didn’t really feel like Spider-Man, but felt more like Iron Man Jr. Mainly because they didn’t really explore Peter Parker’s own existential problems the way that the earlier films did. But here, the film takes a huge risk by killing Aunt May, and forcing Holland’s Peter Parker to experience true loss. It takes his story arc to new heights. 

Even though Spider-Man succeeds in defeating the bad guys by curing all of them and sending them back to their universes, he does so at a huge price. In order to accomplish all this, he has Doctor Strange cast a spell to make the whole world forget who Peter Parker is. Including his best friend, Ned, played by Jacob Batalon, and his girlfriend MJ, played by Zendaya. 

Peter and MJ’s romance is so genuine and so real. Mostly because the actors are dating each other in real life. Seeing them both on screen together made me feel like they were not really acting. You can feel the love Holland and Zendaya have for each other. And I wish their real relationship so much love and happiness. As for their characters, MJ cannot remember who Peter is. Before she loses her memory, she tells Peter to go find her. And he does. He thinks about telling her who he is. But he doesn’t want to risk her getting hurt in his battles. So he decides to leave her, and his best friend Ned, to live normal lives without him. He loves MJ so much. Which is why he feels like he needs to let her go.

This is probably the most bitter sweet ending to a Spider-Man movie since The Amazing Spider-Man 2’s ending. Except here, Peter’s girlfriend doesn’t die. But considering that she has no memory of him, it’s as if she is in a way.

And yet, Peter still presses on. Because he knows Aunt May would want him to. He knows Tony Stark would want him to. As McGuire and Garfield both told him earlier, even if the ones we love are gone, it doesn’t mean the things they stood for are gone.

In a year where we’ve gone through so much radical change and transitions, and experiences so many losses, the movie feels so appropriate for our times. In times like these, we need heroes more than ever. Like Spider-Man to show us that no matter how hard life is, we have to keep going. For our loved ones.

Because the world doesn’t know who Peter Parker is, this is a chance for the franchise to have a fresh start away from the MCU. If they make more movies with Tom Holland, they probably won’t have any reference to the MCU. While it is tragic that Spider-Man can’t go home to Marvel (hence the title, No Way Home), I am honestly curious to see how they continue Parker’s story in this version. It will be nice to have a traditional Spider-Man movie again without the pressures of having to connect everything to the MCU.

If they don’t make anymore with Tom Holland because he decides he’s done with these movies, I honestly would not mind. Holland has more than proven himself as the definitive Spider-Man, and has earned his right to retire and start a family. It would probably deny a lot of us fans the much needed closure we need from his storyline, just like how McGuire and Garfield’s Spider-Man films ended before they could get the proper closure. But who knows? If McGuire and Garfield could both return to the franchise and give their arcs closure, then maybe someday Holland can return. I do hope MJ figures out who Peter Parker is. I mean, she’s way too smart to not figure it out. 

Also, Ned had better still have his magic powers! 

Overall, Spider-Man: No Way Home was everything I wanted it to be and more. It gave my childhood closure, it entertained me, it moved me, and it inspired me. What more could you want in a Spider-Man movie? 

My Norm MacDonald Story

I hate September. It’s easily the worst month on the calendar. There’s a reason Green Day wrote “Wake Me Up When September Ends”. I don’t think I’ve ever met a single person who says September is their favorite month. Except maybe people whose birthday is in September. 

There are many reasons September is my least favorite month. When I was a kid, it was the month summer vacation ended and we all had to go back to school. That was always fun.  It’s the month when 9/11 happened. It’s the month when my Grandpa died. I already have many reasons to associate this month with complete sadness. 

This year, I have another reason to hate this month. it’s the month when Norm MacDonald, my favorite comedian, died.

Norm MacDonald was secretly battling cancer for ten years. This week, the fight came to a draw.

This week, so many comedians have been sharing stories of Norm MacDonald. I’ve heard stories of comedians who met him, who worked with him, who only watched his stand up. And they all seem to agree on one thing: There was no one funnier than Norm.

I myself am an aspiring stand up comedian. I wish I could call myself a real Comedian. I’ve performed stand up at Open Mic Nights. But I’m not getting paid for it yet. But I did meet Norm MacDonald. And I would like to share it with all five people who are reading this blog.

It was February 2015. My family and I spent a week in New York City. My Dad knew someone who was in the Broadway production of Matilda, and was able to score tickets for us. New York City was ice cold. It was so cold you could feel how cold it was. Literally. It felt like the whole air was solid ice. That Sunday, February 16th, 2015, my Dad and I went to Lombardi’s Pizza at night. We had a combo pizza. It was some of the best pizza I ever had. But it was rich. We went back to our hotel room and watched TV with my Mom and my sister. That night was the 40th Anniversary Special of Saturday Night Live. 

It was a three and a half hour prime time special featuring a cast that included every single cast member and host of SNL that was still alive. Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, Steve Martin, Martin Short, Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Jon Lovitz, Adam Sandler, David Spade, Will Ferrel, Will Forte, Jason Sudeikis, Tina Fey, Amy Pohler, Kate McKinnon, Darell Hammond, Alec Baldwin, Keenan Thompson, Chris Rock, Garrett Morris, Billy Crystal, Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David, Sarah Pailin, Rachel Dratch, Justin Timberlake, Jimmy Fallon, Kanye West, Miley Cyrus, Jack Nicholson, Robert DeNiro, Chris Rock, and even Eddie Murphy! And of course, Norm MacDonald. It was like the Avengers: Infinity War of comedy. 

Just like Saturday Night Live itself, the special was a giant mixed bag of skits that were hilarious, skits that bombed, and skits that made no sense. The most memorable sketch of the night was Celebrity Jeopardy,  which featured Will Ferrell as Alex Trebek, Kate McKinnon as Justin Bieber, Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery, Alec Baldwin as Tony Bennett, Jim Carrey as Matthew McConaughey, Keenan Thompson as Bill Cosby, and Norm MacDonald as Burt Reynolds. The most hyped celebrity appearance was Eddie Murphy, who had not appeared on SNL since the 80s, and had a strained relationship with the show due to a sick burn from David Spade on Weekend Update. Eddie's appearance that night was disappointing to say the least. It wasn't because he failed at being funny. But because he didn't even attempt to be funny. It was just a quick "Hey everyone! Long time, no see! Ok, thanks everybody!" His awkward appearance led the internet to wonder what the hell was going on with Eddie. And it wouldn't find out until later that week from an interesting source. More on that later.

The next morning, we took our flight back to California at LAX Airport. Because our plane was coming from New York, Garrett Morris was on our flight in First Class. We landed in LAX late that night. As we walked to get our luggage, I saw someone holding a sign that said "N. MacDonald". I asked if it was Norm MacDonald. He said "Not the one you're thinking of". I just shrugged it off and minded my business. I have a very short attention span. The airport is both the best and worst place for people like me. It's a lot of standing and waiting. Whenever I'm at an airport, I just zone out and look around. Then my parents told me to come over there. They were so excited. I was thinking "What could it be? Did they run into an old friend?" And I was kind of right. Well, it wasn't really their friend. But it was someone they recognized. And it was someone I only half recognized. It was Norm MacDonald. 

I couldn't believe it! THE Norm MacDonald! In person! It was enough to make two generations jump up and down with joy. My parents recognized him from his time as the Weekend Update anchor on SNL, a job he was fired from for being, in the words of an NBC Executive, "Not funny". Or maybe because he made too many jokes about their friend, OJ Simpson.  My sister and I recognized him as Norm the Genie on The Fairly OddParents. I told him we loved him on that show. My sister, being her typical filter-free self, told him "That show sucks now!" Norm MacDonald smiled, took his hat off, placed it on my sister, and said "Or maybe you just grew up!" Such a Norm thing to do.

 I told Norm MacDonald I wanted to be a stand up comedian. My Dad told him that I was Lowell Renold III, and he was Lowell Renold II. I said "I'm the third movie in a trilogy. The one that everyone hates." And he laughed, waved his hat at me and told me I was funny. My Mom asked him if I could do an impression for him. Whenever I meet someone famous, my Mom encourages me to show off my impressions to them. I asked Norm to give me a suggestion. His suggestion was an interesting choice, as it was one that would be the #1 trending topic on Twitter that week thanks to Norm. Norm asked me to do Eddie Murphy. And thank God! Because that's one of my easiest impressions. Norm loved it. Before we left, I asked Norm for advice on being a stand up comedian. He told me to follow him on Twitter, and he would follow me back and give me advice. 

That night, I followed him on Twitter. And he actually followed me back! It's rare when someone famous follows me. But even rarer when my heroes follow me. 

The next day, I looked at Norm's Twitter. His tweets were full of jokes, long stories in long Twitter threads, and lots of sports talk. I'm not even much of a sports guy. But I loved reading his tweets! That week, Norm shared a long Twitter thread sharing an interesting anecdote about his night at the SNL 40th Anniversary Special. You can read all about it here.

Long story short, Norm MacDonald said that Eddie Murphy was originally supposed to play Bill Cosby in the Celebrity Jeopardy skit with Will Ferrell. This was at the time when the allegation against Bill Cosby were starting to go public after decades of being kept secret in the industry, long before the #MeToo Movement. At this time, it was still debated whether or not these allegations were true. But either way, they provided a lot of material for comedians. Edgy material, sure. But material nonetheless. Especially for Saturday Night Live. And especially for Eddie Murphy. That is, if he chose to use it.

Eddie Murphy was no stranger to making Cosby jokes. In his stand up special, Raw, released in theaters at the height of his popularity as a stand up comedian in the 80s, Eddie Murphy told a funny story about the time Bill Cosby lectured him on saying dirty words on stage. Which, in hindsight, was incredibly hypocritical coming from Cosby. 

But that night, at the SNL 40th Anniversary Special, Eddie Murphy decided not to mock the veteran comedian. In Norm's own words, "Eddie decided the laughs were not worth it. He would not kick a man while he's down." This story was a source of debate on the internet for a while. People were all split on whether or not it was the right call for Eddie to back out of mocking Cosby. (Murphy, of course, would make fun of Cosby later that year at the Mark Twain Awards.) But one thing was certain. It made for one hell of a Norm MacDonald story. 

I began looking up Norm MacDonald all over YouTube. I watched his stand up, his monologues on Weekend Update, his late night show appearances, etc. I can't think of any other comedian who made me laugh as hard as he did. His delivery was always so dry. Even when his jokes were not funny, he still made you laugh just by staring at you. They say that no comedian ever continues with a joke when it bombs. They always immediately move on to the next joke. But not Norm. Norm would stick with a joke, no matter how unfunny it was, and keep telling it until you found it as funny as he did. No other comedian can do that. At least, no other comedian can get away with that.

They say comedy is all about timing. The quicker you tell a joke, the bigger laughs you get. But Norm liked to drag his jokes for a long period of time. Even if the joke was not funny. It was like you were on this road trip with a guy who had these bizarre thoughts. Part of you wants them to stop talking. But the other part wants to hear where they're going. 

Perhaps Norm's greatest joke is his Moth joke on Conan. Watch it all the way until the very end.

There is a growing concern among comedians that comedy these days is harder to do, largely in part to how sensitive our culture has become. Norm's humor was a lot of things. Sensitive was not one of them. He always like to bring up a dark subject that would leave the audience in a state of shock, and would leave them laughing hard with the punchline. And then they would feel guilty at laughing at such a serious topic. With Norm, there was no such thing as boundaries when it came to jokes. 

I think part of Norm MacDonald's genius is he was not afraid to share what was on his mind. No matter how offensive it was. And in a strange way, he was sharing what was on all of our minds. Whether we admitted it or not. I always felt like comedy wast the last place in the world where people can say what they truly think. That is, as long as it's funny. William Shakespeare once said "When you tell people the truth, you better make them laugh. Otherwise, they will kill you." I guess another reason Norm got away with it, besides being 100% hilarious, was that you got the sense that he was a sweet, genuine person with a kind heart. You felt that he cared about you and wanted to make you smile and enjoy life. Comedy can't exist without empathy. Empathy is the baseline of all great comedy. Norm was as empathetic and as genuine as they came. 

I felt so honored to have Norm MacDonald follow me on Twitter. A year later, he unfollowed me. To this day, I still don't know why he unfollowed me. Maybe he got lost.

I saw Norm MacDonald perform stand up at the Irvine Improv in February 2019, five years since I met him. His set was a lot raunchier than I thought it would be. It was definetely too raunchy for my Mom, who left early. But I loved it. I feel like Norm had my exact sense of humor. Both Norm and I seem to have this sick, twisted sense of humor that no one else seems to get. I guess that's why he and I got along so well when we met.

I was really hoping I would get the chance to work with him someday. Maybe appear on a late night show together. Or be in a Movie or Netflix show together. But I guess life doesn't care about your dreams.

Norm MacDonald may no longer be here. But thanks to YouTube, and all other streaming services, his sick, twisted, bizzarre humor will always be with us. As well as his kind, genuine spirit.

Norm, thank you for all the laughs. Thank you for following me on Twitter for a brief time. Thank you for indulging me by listening to my Eddie Murphy impression, and for encouraging me to chase my dream of being a stand up comedian.

I can't think of a better way to end this tribute than with a joke that Norm MacDonald closed his show on at the Irvine Improv. Or, at least my own recollection of the joke. Norm told us we can tell it to our friends after the show. It's a joke that feels 100% Norm MacDonald. Try reading it in his voice if you can. Warning, it's really raunchy. Just like a lot of Norm's jokes.

This guy's wife is getting ready for a party. She puts on a dress and asks the guy "Does this dress make me look fat?" The guy says "Do you want me to be honest?" The guy's wife says "Yes. Please be honest." And the guy says,  "Promise not to get mad?" His wife says "Of course!" He says "Are you sure you want me to be honest?" Guy's wife says "Yes. You're my husband. I want you to be honest with me." Guy says "Promise you won't get mad?" Guy's wife says "Promise!" Guy says "Ok. Here it is. I fucked your sister."